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Sunday marks the 30th anniversary of Discovery Channel’s Shark Week. I’ve been watching this annual epic of jawesomeness since the beginning, and, given that Christmas In July is also being celebrated here in the States at the moment, I thought it was past time to dust off a little something I composed ten years ago and share it with all of you.
Here it is…Jingle Sharks—so named because Shark Week is the most wonderful time of the year.
(As performed by Irv, a Great White Shark from Sydney, Australia, and all around fantastic lad,
with select interjections by the Australian Shark Chorus)
Swimming through the sea, with bloodshed on my mind,
I spy a little seal, then bite off his behind!
But he is just a snack, I need a bigger munch,
So when I spot a surfer dude, I shout, “Yippee! There’s lunch!”
Ohhh! Jingle Sharks, Jingle Sharks, chumming’s not for us!
Sharkin’s been looked down on since Old Quint, he bit the dust!
(And we’ve got Bruce to thank for that!)
Ohhh! Jingle Sharks, Jingle Sharks, we like our bait live!
Why don’t all you people on the beach come take a dive?!
(We won’t bite, we promise! Sharks’ honor!)
*brief tom-tom interlude: Da da da da da DA, dum dum!*
The surf is choppy now, and swimmers cannot see,
That lurking right offshore, is little three ton me!
I play it nice and cool, I bide my time so good,
And when nobody’s looking, I latch on to someone’s foot!
Ohh-ohhh-ohhhhhh! Jingle Sharks, Jingle Sharks, Shark Week is sublime!
We’ve ruled cable TV for three decades in prime time! Ohhh-oh-ohhhhhh!
Jingle Sharks, Jingle Sharks, everybody’s hooked!
Thanks to conservation, now, our goose ain’t gonna be cooked!
*raucous shouts of “Sharkland, forever!” erupt from the Australian Shark Chorus*
Copyright © 2008, 2018 by Melika Dannese Lux